What's worth living for?
by AustrianKnuxadowFan
Summary: When depression gets a serious grip on you, there is barely a way to get out of it again, until you start thinking about things without giving them a second thought. Two-Shot, attempted suicide, Knuxadow (Shadow X Knuckles), Shōnen Ai, Male pregnancy warning
1. Chapter 1

What's worth living for?

Depression.

A feeling that everyone has so have at some point in their live. No matter if they want or not. A feeling that has this annoying side effect that can haunt you every second, every moment over a long period of time. Day by day. Year after year. From sunrise to sunset and even at night when sleep is the most precious thing anyone could have in a rough time. But not even sleep may spare those who suffer from depression. Night terrors, or better known as bad nightmares, make affected scared to close one eye at night. If they happen to fall asleep, they wake up as exhausted as they fell into slumber. Some may have the luck that eventually leads them to get cured from this state, while others aren´t this lucky. It continues until that one can´t take it anymore. With this… suicide is their only answer to get finally redeemed from this mental torture. Without a second thought, that there are indeed people who will suffer from this afterwards. People who cared about them. Loved them. Are left behind because they weren´t granted the chance to talk to them one last time. Even if it is just to say goodbye when they can´t change their mind.

Shadow the Hedgehog,

better known as the Ultimate Lifeform, was caught into this never ending circle of deep depression. For years already, though he tried so hard to get out of it. But no matter how hard he did, Shadow just couldn´t ever get over the loss of his dearest sister-like friend Maria. The few years after his awakening, he didn´t feel this miserable. He was sad, yes. But after some time, he found friends in all the others he had met. Friends like Sonic and Rouge for example. Even more, he also found someone he could give his heart to. The person he had expected the least. Only because Shadow hadn´t expected him to know the burden of loneliness or the pressure of big responsibility on his back. Yes, it was a male. To be more specific, it was Sonics' first big rival and the guardian of the most powerful item of their world, Knuckles the Echidna. Shocked? So was Shadow when he first uncovered his feelings for the red guardian.

To be honest, Shadow always found it odd that Knuckles seemed to understand him in certain things so much better than anyone else despite never really have talked with him much. When they started to get to know each other better, it was clear from the very beginning that there would come even more. Their friendship like feelings soon developed into something else. Though Shadow was the first to confess, he already knew Knuckles' feelings towards him as well. The echidna became shy around him and at this point of time, the dark furred hedgehog knew exactly the meaning of this. Soon they became a pair. Their friends had no problem with it at all and supported them from the very start. After some time Shadow moved to Angel Island to life with Knuckles. Four years had passed since then and it certainly felt like the best time in the dark hedgehogs' life.

Oh, sweet memories… But not even his love for the red echidna nor all those good times could stop this misery from coming up. For the last two years, depression haunted him down. Every day ever since. Not even his sleep could save him a few hours from negative thoughts. Why was Shadow depressed? Because of that girl who died to save him from GUN. "Give them a chance to be happy" were Marias' last words before she died. Those words echoed in Shadows mind like they were spoken to him just the day before. The promise he made back then, was kept by him. Still, there was something far from right. Everyone else was happy… but why wasn´t he? Why couldn´t he? No answer was found to this question and it made him crazy. There was something missing, though the black and red streaked hedgehog had everything he could wish for. Friends, a place he could call home, he was healthy, he kept his promise and he had a boyfriend.

Yeah… Knuckles… his boyfriend… Shadow broke up with him 3 months ago. Not because he stopped to love him but because he couldn´t stand it anymore to look into this worried purple orbs every time their eyes meet. It broke his heart to see his lover worry about him nonstop for two years straight. Ending their relationship was the only answer for Shadow in order to save them both more misery from his depression. Of course Knuckles protested and tried to call Shadow back, only to get his calls unanswered until he gave up trying. Pain filled Shadows' heart in that time because he could imagine way too good how much it must have broken Knuckles own heart. His friends tried to talk to him. Saying that this isn´t the solution. That they would help him to get out of this depression. That Knuckles would also do anything in his might to make him happy again. This however was all for nothing as Shadow was already too much caught in his own dark and negative world to even think that there was still a chance to get free from it again. And why all of this? Because he couldn´t get over the death of the only person he referred to as his family.

Soon all of this would be over. The misery all gone. Shadow kept telling that to himself and he would make sure it will. On a cloudy late autumn day, the dark hedgehog went for a walk. Away from his current place and away from the city. His walk leaded him along the coast. The sound of waves from the ocean relaxed him. It was pretty much the only thing that had this effect on him the last few months. Wind was blowing with him and made his black quills move softly into the same direction. Red orbs were fixed on the ground as their owner walked to his favourite spot which he soon reached. There was a reason for this being his favourite of all those beautiful places he already saw. Here was the place he confessed to Knuckles and the place of their first kiss. A few meters before the edge of the coast Shadow halted, his tired and dull eyes fixed on the horizon as the pictures of those moments repeated themselves in his head. A low chuckle left his mouth.

Those memories… they were so precious to him but not even they were strong enough to give him relieve from his miserable state. This place however will finally give him the relieve he longed for so long. Shadow had planned this well enough. An awfully calm feeling overcame him when he moved his hand into his quills to pull out a loaded gun. A tired smile found its way onto the dark hedgehogs muzzle after he let his hand, which was holding the weapon, lazily hang down. Remaining like this for about a minute, all Shadow did was silently staring into the horizon. That smile never leaving his face.

Then his eyes started to wander to the gun in his hand while lifting it until it was in front of his chest. With his thumb, he moved over the cold metallic surface, while his smile became slightly bigger. So far away from the city, no one would hear the sound of a firing gun. After a calm sigh, Shadow moved the gun to his head, closing his eyes in the process. Only in a few seconds, all of his misery would be over. At the same time he makes all the people who care for him stop worrying and Shadow will finally be together with Maria once again. In his mind this was nothing but a win-win situation. One last deep breath left his mouth and he was about to pull the trigger, until he heard a familiar voice behind him shout.

"STOP IT, SHADOW! ARE YOU INSANE?!" Shadow heard him yell desperately not more than eight to ten meters away from him.

Before he reopened his eyes again to turn around and face his intruder, Shadow stopped the movement of his finger. As he turned around there was no surprise in the black hedgehogs face. How should there when it was the voice of his arch rival? Shadow knew that voice too good for his own liking. And there Sonic stood. Completely out of breath as if he just ran for the sake of his life. Starring at his dark counterpart with shocked emerald green eyes, breathing in pant-like motions. Sonics' timing couldn´t be any better. Or worse, in Shadows point of view. More and more seconds passed as the two hedgehogs stared at each other. One trying to regain his breath while the other only stared as if life left him already.

"Were… you seriously just about to shoot yourself, Shadow?!" Sonic shouted at him after he finally caught his breath.

The first movement Shadow made, after turning around, was a slight and careless huff sound. Much to Sonics annoyance. For the dark hedgehog, arguing with Sonic about this would be pointless now. It's not like he could ever understand. Never could he understand all the pain Shadow had to go through the past two years. Not sleeping one single night without waking up at least twice because of nightmares. Though he acted like he would understand, he didn´t and Shadow knew that. So why did he come here? How did he know where he would be anyway? It wasn´t like he had spoken to anyone lately. If anything, all Shadow did, was avoiding them.

"Yeah… so?" the black furred hedgehog replied blank and awfully uncaring.

"Don´t you even dare saying this like it would be an "everyday"-thing, when it's not! What were you thinking?!" his blue rival voiced angrily and with a demanding tone for an answer.

Despite getting yelled at, Shadow stayed calm and unmoved by Sonics words. Expecting him to understand Shadows' intentions, was far too unrealistic for the dark one anyway. Slowly his eyes moved away from the blue blur and to the ground beside him. The gun still in his hand, ready to be used.

"It's for the best, Sonic…" he started, to draw the other hedgehogs' attention back on him. "I am sick of living this life… everyone would stop worrying once I am gone… besides… I have nothing left that is worth living for…"

With that Shadow closed his eyes and turned away slightly. Gloved hands clenched into fists after hearing the last comment of his dark counterpart. Nothing worth living for?! How did Shadow even had the guts to say something like this!? It took a lot of Sonics self-control to not slap Shadow for that last part. But it didn´t stop rage to fill his stomach and snap at him for it. The calm appearance of Shadow didn´t change but at that moment, Sonic couldn´t care any less.

"Are you kinda stupid or something?! What about us?! Your friends! Have you never thought about how we would feel?!" the blue hero hissed at him which made Shadow open his eyes once again to look at Sonic.

He knew Sonic wouldn´t understand. He didn´t even try to see this situation in his point of view. A sigh left Shadows throat as he turned away from Sonics vision. Something he had always been bad at, was looking into anyone eyes directly for too long in moments like this. At the same moment Sonics' gaze turned more concerned as Shadow turned away from him. Approve was not found inside of the blue hedgehog at this move. There was something rising inside him that barely ever happened to him. What it was came out to be panic. Indeed Sonic was scared. Scared that his friend really was going as far as to kill himself and if there was something he didn´t want to happen, then it was exactly this. And that is why he followed him. This premonition was present for some time now and to his great shock, he was right. But Sonic wouldn´t let this happen. At least not before he tried to talk to him at least one last time about this. That he doesn´t have to solve things this way. That there was still hope.

"I know you all will be sad about my death but… you will get over it… for all those years I've been nothing but a burden for all of you… The planet is better off without me" Shadow said after a few moments of silence which made Sonic only grit his teeth, showing his fangs.

"Stop talking nonsense!" he yelled while pinning his ears flat against his head.

"I don´t"

Silence took over them as Sonic only stared at the hedgehog who didn´t dare to return the gaze. Did Shadow seriously believe this? Was he telling himself this crap? Sonic didn´t know and he honesty couldn´t care less. For sure giving up was the last thing on his mind now. Permitting Shadow to shoot a pullet right through his brain was something that Sonic will NOT allow to happen! Even if it means to knock the older hedgehog on the ground and smack that stupid weapon out of his hand and throw it down into the water.

"Then what about Knuckles, huh? Do you even have any idea what you caused after you broke up with him?! Is he not worth living for?! He would never forgive himself when you kill yourself, you know that?! Is that what you want!?" the fastest thing alive questioned him with a loud voice. He hoped that at least Shadows' love for Knuckles would bring some sense into him.

To his great displease, Shadow turned his back on him completely, taking back his original position shortly before the blue hedgehog interfered. Then his ears noticed something that sounded like a chuckle but it was very low. Not sure if that sound was actually real, he kept on looking at the older one.

"…I know it was hard for Knuckles… It wasn´t easy for me either… but it was for the best. For him just as for me. I couldn´t take it anymore that I worried him without a break… it's not like I haven´t tried to get better but… I couldn´t… Knuckles will get over me someday…" Shadow told Sonic as his eyes were fixed on the same spot on the horizon as before.

Shaking his head was his only answer to Shadows narrow-minded decision. Guessing by the way he talks, Sonic was sure that his rival blinded himself with what he told himself probably every day about at least ten times. Why did they never notice that it got this worse with Shadow? Clenching his fists one more time, the blue blur closed his eyes and turned his head slightly away. Slowly he ran out of options. It was clear Shadow didn´t care about how they all would feel. That everyone, especially Knuckles, would be broken. He was their friend after all. To Knuckles, his boyfriend. Poor guy. Sonic didn´t even dare to think about the hell Knuckles had to go through already, let alone the hell he will have to go through if it was true what he had told him just the day before.

And that was until it hit Sonic. Eyes went wide as the answer to his problem was coming right into his mind. How on earth could he forget?! That was like the biggest surprise in his whole life and yet he had forgotten about it. Emerald green eyes moved fast on the black hedgehog who hadn´t made another move until now. Though he didn´t want to see it, Sonic was surprised Shadow didn´t made another attempt to shot himself until now. Probably because the blue hedgehog was right there. Taking a deep breath, and a step forward, Sonic prepared himself for his last attempt to make Shadow overthink his decision. With what he just remembered, he was sure the dark one would rethink this again. He had to. When this wasn´t working, then the only option left was to drag Shadow into a psychiatry. No matter if it was against his will or not.

"…fine… Then what about your child, Shadow…? IS THAT NOT WORTH LIVING FOR?!" Sonic yelled out every bit of air that he could muster into his lungs.

The at first tired, red eyes suddenly widened as much as their lids would let them in shock. With one fast movement Shadow turned around to face Sonic. Disbelieve written all over his face just like shock. Deep inside he almost begged that he had heard wrong.

"W-what….?" he questioned with a quiet, barely hearable voice.

After his dark counterpart turned around, the younger of the two relaxed again and took a few deep breaths with closed eyes. Soon enough he opened them again to look back at Shadow. "…you gonna be a father, Shadow…"

The hope to have heard wrong was crushed as Sonic confirmed this. In this one second the world around Shadow seemed to have stopped moving. Ears got deaf and everything in front of his eyes turned grey and motionless. Ocean waves, the wind through the trees, even his own breathing. Every sound seemed to be turned off in the time his brained tried to process this piece of information. Him? A father? The thought was too absurd. This couldn´t be true. Sonic had to come up with this. It was plain impossible for him to be a father. And he was going to inform the speedster about this. Finally he was able to find his voice again.

"That's… That's impossible..! I-I never did… I mean… I never have done something like… this with a girl..!" Shadow stuttered and took a step back, at the same time shaking his head slightly.

Softening his eyes, that were fixed on Shadow, and lowering his head, the blue hedgehog then replied calmly with an "I know", which confused the ultimate lifeform greatly. Surprise was nowhere found on Sonics face as he saw the reaction of the other. He was aware of the fact that he couldn´t knew. After all, the dark hedgehog broke any contact to anyone in the past two month.

"It's not a girl who is pregnant, Shadow… it's Knuckles who is" the blue furred one admitted without any sign of hesitation.

To be completely honest, Sonic saw absolutely no point in talking around the fact. No matter if this shocked Shadow beyond any point. And shock was not even enough to describe the feeling that made itself noticeable in the dark hedgehogs' stomach. How was this even possible? Knuckles wasn´t a female. Sonic must think that Shadow had lost all his relation to reality to come up with something like this. Males' can´t get pregnant! Judging by his face, the blue blur could tell that the other didn´t believe him. Fine, if he didn´t, then he wouldn´t stop him from going to Knuckles and ask him personally. Unless Sonic could make him believe himself.

"…Knuckles is a hermaphrodite… and he is pregnant… with your child, Shadow"

A calm and controlled voice told this to the already tensed up hedgehog. As if he wasn´t tense enough but this made it even worse. Breathing through his mouth, wide red eyes wandered from the person in front of him down on the ground, shaking his head and taking another step back. This couldn´t be true. He refused to believe it. Without himself noticing it at first, this piece of information nagged on him a lot and when he noticed it was too late. Unbelieving eyes moved back on Sonic, who held his head low while looking at him.

"Do you still want to murder yourself?" he asked surprisingly calm.

"Why didn´t he tell me?"

This made Sonic raise an eyebrow and tilt his head lightly. "Did you forget that you broke up any contact to him after you left him? I am sure he tried but you were nowhere to be found"

Kinda harsh for him to say it like this, but it was true. A hand found its place on Shadows face to covers his eyes. Fangs were showing as he gritted his teeth. At the same time ears dropped flat against the black head. The hand that held the gun, was shaking terribly as its owner slowly lifted it up to look at the tool he wanted to use to end his life. So much regret overcame him right now as he looked at this deadly firearm in his hand. His breath became more and more shaking after he realized what he was about to do for real. Sonic could see and closed his eyes.

"…if this is really what you want, then fine… if you want to be this selfish, go on! I guess, I can´t stop you anyway… I just have one question left… is THIS really what you want? Leaving Knuckles behind, without him ever having the chance to tell you. Giving birth and raising a child which will never know who its father was. Leaving Knuckles with this regret for the rest of his life to know that he couldn´t do a single thing to prevent this from happening… So I am asking again… is _**this**_ really what you want..?"

After Sonic was done talking, the gun that was at first gripped firmly by a gloved hand, was dropped and fell straight on the deep green grass. As soon as the weapon made contact with the ground, Shadow followed by falling on his knees and punching the ground with both of his clenched fists. Desperate tears started to fall from the stressed out hedgehogs' eyes. His tail was pulled between his legs in desperation and sudden realisation which scared him to a point he never thought he could reach. The scene before his eyes, pained Sonic as well. He could only guess what was going on inside Shadows' head now. Though he wasn´t sure if he would actually want to know. One thing was certain, it took a lot of him to stay somewhat calm at the way his arch rival suffered and acted at this moment. This was a side he never thought he would ever see of him and it freaked him out. And that was being an optimistic term. In the meantime Shadow lost it completely. It weren´t his hands and arms anymore that supported his body. Now it was his head, while his hands gripped the fur on his head as pained groans left his throat and even more tears left his eyes. And after a few more moments, Shadow took all the air he could get into his lungs and screamed out as loud as he could. As if a sudden pain took all over his body. But this one desperate scream wasn´t to show any sign of physical pain, but only long, deep constant mental suffering.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

What's worth living for?

Later in the evening, when the sky got somewhat clearer from clouds, Knuckles stood on top of the master emeralds shrine, looking towards the setting sun, as cool autumn wind welcomed itself on the flying landscape. Almost emotionless the guardians purple eyes starred into the horizon. Broken. That's all he actually felt in this moment. The man he loved was about to kill himself. Yes, he still loved Shadow. After all he spend four years of his life together with him. It wasn´t the fact that Shadow left him that made his sad heart ache the most. It was that his boyfriend didn´t seem to care about all the time, the good times they had together. Like they were meaningless to him. Though Shadow never said directly that he wanted to end his life, Knuckles had this gut feeling. Always had he hoped that it wasn´t coming true. That Shadow would be this once gently and for his conditions happy hedgehog he used to be. Knuckles knew it was partly his fault for not reacting sooner but the past cannot be changed. All in all he felt lost. Completely lost. And to top everything, Shadow and he would become parents.

A deep sigh escaped the red echidnas' throat. Eyes moved down on his slight roundish belly and a hand gently covered it. When he had uncovered that, it was literally the end of the world for Knuckles. It took a _lot_ willpower to not make a scene. After all, to get pregnant as a male wasn´t something you get confronted with any day. To make matters worse, he found out a few days after Shadow had broken up. Naturally he tried even harder and more desperate to get in contact with the dark hedgehog. When he had no luck he was so close to jump of the island and into his death himself. Thanks heaven he didn´t since it would only make things worse than they already were. It's not like he wasn´t happy now, just… at the worst possible time this had to happen. Tears were falling in this three month more often than he could count. But there were no more left.

Slowly Knuckles turned around. The sky already turned from orange-pink into dark blue. Time for him to get back to his house. Never did he notice once how lonely it actually was there until Shadow moved here. Lovely, happy memories that brought nothing but sorrow into his bleeding heart. Over the whole walk he tried to push them away but no matter where his eyes landed, everything here reminded him of Shadow in one way or another. Knuckles knew he needed to forget about him but his heart didn´t want. His head didn´t want. Just nothing about him wanted to forget Shadow.

Soon he reached his home. Walking to the house didn´t exactly take long but this pestering thought made it seem like the way would never end. Knuckles needed to get his head clear and knew at least one way to achieve this. Right after kicking his shoes off, he made his way up to the bathroom. A hot bath would relax him, which he was sure of. Even if it was only for a short time. Turning on the water, he then just waited. When the tube was about half way done, and Knuckles made himself ready, a hysterical, daring to say, almost desperate knocking on his door echoed through the house. With quite a confused expression Knuckles looked towards the door. As if visits on his island weren´t already rare enough. Certainly visits this late were even rarer. Who in the world would come to his island at this hour anyway? Knuckles decided that he was going to find out in a matter of minutes. So he turned off the water and made his way down to the front door. The knocking didn´t become any less. Having enough of that, the red echidna called out that he was already coming and with that the knocking fell silent. When he finally opened the door, he could have sworn that his heart stopped beating for a second. Wide-eyed he faced the person in front of him with shock. In front of him stood his so much missed, black furred boyfriend. His eyes and cheeks red from the streams of tears that found their ways down his face. Besides his face, the dark hedgehog looked also extremely thin, as if he hadn´t eaten properly for weeks. To make it short, Shadow looked awful. To say Knuckles was shocked was far not enough to describe the expression he wore at this moment. Never had he expected for Shadow to come back after the last time. Not that Knuckles wasn´t overjoying but the shock was far stronger right now.

"K-Knuckles…." Shadow sobbed out so quietly that it was easy to overhear when not listening well enough.

Knuckles actually wanted to call out Shadows name, but was stopped right at the attempt when the sobbing hedgehog threw his arms around him and almost tackled him on the ground in the process. Taken by surprise the red echidna could just catch himself and Shadow in time. Eyes widened as much as his lids would let them. It didn´t help when he heard Shadow crying hysterical into his neck, shouting out how sorry he was for being an incompetent and selfish bastard for leaving Knuckles hanging like this. Though Knuckles wasn´t moving one muscle, because his body was still stiff from shock, he could feel his eyes water fast at the others mental breakdown. Yet he thought he had no more tears left to cry. Not only was this the first time he saw Shadow cry, but also the first time he experienced him like this at all. The sight broke Knuckles' heart. Asking him what was going on, was probably pointless at how stressed out the black hedgehog was. Slowly, as if Shadow was a glass figure, red arms wrapped around him as well and slowly the ebony hedgehog was pulled into the warm house. There were no need for words right now.

A few hours later, when the night had fully set, Shadow had finally calmed down a little. Both of them were in the living room of Knuckles house, with the guardian sitting on the couch and Shadow lying, with his head on the red echidnas lap. To calm the hedgehog even more, Knuckles softly stroked over his head. It did help a lot. After Shadow had calmed down, Knuckles decided that it was a good time to ask him now. He didn´t exactly expected him to talk right away, but to his great pleasure Shadow cooperated. With that, the dark hedgehog told Knuckles everything that had happened the past three month, without looking into Knuckles eyes majority of the time. Knuckles didn´t minded much, although he must admit that he had missed looking into those red orbs so bad. Shadow also told him about this day. That he was about to make an end to his life and that Sonic came to stop him from doing so. And that he told him about the child. As soon as Shadow mentioned it, Knuckles fell completely silent and turned his head away. This didn´t stay unnoticed by the older one and looked up. Knuckles was avoiding him. Then the red orbs moved down until they stopped on the small roundish belly. His belly definitely wasn´t like this, last time he had seen the red head. Carefully Shadow rolled to his side to face it.

"…so it's true…?" he quietly asked and moved a hand towards the belly to gently touch it.

His gaze wandered back up to see Knuckles nod. Something Shadow wasn´t sure of, made itself noticeable inside his chest. If it was happiness or fear of it really being true, was something he couldn´t exactly lay his finger on. But there was one thing certain. Shadow almost made a big mistake with what he had planned. Eyes got covered by black lids as he moved his head closer until his forehead touched Knuckles' belly. Noticing the move, the red guardian looked back down.

"I'm so sorry, Knuckles…" he heard his boyfriend say.

"What are you sorry for…?" Knuckles wanted to know as he watched the older with soft purple eyes.

"… I almost left you alone with our child…"

"You couldn´t know…"

"Still..!"

"…"

When Shadow was trapped in quilt, there was barely a way to get him out of it. A sigh left Knuckles mouth before he began to stroke his stressing boyfriends' head again.

"…you're still here, aren´t you?" he then said with a soft voice, that made Shadow blink and look back up, only to be greeted by a small but warm smile of his younger boyfriend.

The ebony and crimson streaked hedgehog couldn´t believe how calm the other stayed. If anything he had expected to get yelled at by this normally so bad tempered guy. Instead he was giving understanding and care for the situation he was in. Most people wouldn´t even think that Knuckles also had a very soft side. Part of him was glad, because showing someone this side of him, was a rare event. And Shadow was pretty much the only person he showed it almost constantly. A sign of deep trust and the elder surely couldn´t wish for a better partner to share his life with. Still he felt the need to apologize for the last two years over and over again, so his eyes dropped again before they closed once more.

"… I hope you can forgive me for the past years, Knuckles…" he then started.

"Shadow…"

"… I-I thought I could go through this alone… that I wouldn´t need any help to get out of this hell... but in the end all I did was to make it worse! Distant myself from you..! Until I really was all alone..! I-I'm so sorry..!" Shadow apologized and hide his face into Knuckles' belly once he was finished.

Silence took place in the room as Knuckles silently stared at the hedgehog on his lap. No one needed to be an expert to guess that his boyfriend was about to start crying again. Sometimes it seemed as if he just loved to stress himself until he couldn´t go further anymore. Knuckles sighed and slowly lifted himself. Not only for Shadow to stop hiding but also to lie down next to him. Pretty much forcing him to look at his face. Stroking his cheek softly with one hand and kissing his head, Knuckles tried to calm him again. Welcoming the soft caresses, Shadow leaned slightly into the hand while his ears dropped to their sides. A small smile found its way on the red echidnas' lips.

"…yet I thought Sonic was the stupid hedgehog out of you… what are you talking about? You? Alone? You never were to begin with… so stop telling yourself this, Shadow…" Knuckles informed his exhausted boyfriend while he still caressed his cheek softly, placing another soft kiss on his head. Tired red eyes followed every movement of the others head until they met with purple ones again. "Deep inside you know that it's not true… You don´t have to do this alone… I will help you, no matter what it takes… so please promise me that you are not trying to solve things like this again…"

For some time Shadow only looked at Knuckles. He honesty couldn´t believe this man. Especially not because he was dead serious with what he said, even though he brought him so much misery with the way he acted. There he remembered just why he loved him so much. Because Knuckles never gave up on him and that made joy come into his heart. A small smile slowly became visible on Shadows lips. The first real smile since who knows how long. When Knuckles took notice of this, he almost couldn´t believe his eyes.

"…I promise" his partner finally answered.

His heart skipping a beat and small tears of happiness shot into his eyes. Knuckles then wrapped his arms around Shadow to pull him close, hiding his face into the hedgehogs' neck. Taken by surprise, Shadow widened his eyes a little. He looked to his side as good as he could, only to see the happiest smile he had seen in a long time. The smile on his own face grew bigger as he felt his eyes water once again. Just this time not in despair but in happiness and relieve. Though it may be still a long way from here, it will get better. Just now he understood that he never was truly alone and this filled his heart with warmth.

For the past years, Shadow had always questioned himself with one question but he never found an answer to it. He searched forcefully for it, what got him into this depression in the first place, although it was unknown to him how it actually started. After Marias' death and the years of sadness he had to life through, made him question why he was still living this, for him, sad excuse for existence. Only now he understands that he had found the answer to his question years ago. That it had always been right in front of him, without him noticing. And he was lying right beside him. Closing the space between their bodies until there was no more left. Not only that but also the child that was growing inside of his loving partner. Their child. This made him glad to be alive after all and not ending his life sooner than time had planned for him. Because he hadn´t only one thing worth living for… but two.

The end


End file.
